Saturday, 22 May 2010

Confessions of a i-wont-take-shit-no-more

The following story is a figment of my wandering imagination. Its written when I was high on the elixir of life and as such the references to places, people, if any, is unintentionally real though things get hazy when one is high. I am not really sure what is jotted till now but am more than sure its the thought that counts. Cliched as it may sound still भावनाओ को समझो..........

I got to "C" cronyism, nepotism, red-tape, autocracy, tyranny, sycophancy and most importantly prejudice in the last couple of years.

But what broke my spirit was the heightened sense of importance sundry people attach to themselves, their self-destructive belief that they are morally superior, ethically correct, the fact that people don't have the balls to utter truth (for the sake of their own twisted conscience).

Some people take shit all the time, a few fight back and a fewer still move on and wean the destructive influences that have blighted the sunshine in their life. Alas, life's too short to be spent arguing with wimpy morons.

I never lived under Stalin but I can assure you that the his approach along with stupefying concessions to some people being too young, too old and too dependent leaves the able bodied in the firing line. That this is pure injustice is an understatement of massive proportions. The 35 hour work-week in France had to be substantially diluted with time but people still have to bear the consequences. Guess who is complaining ?

I hope the dummies are all proud of their decisions and that they don't feel forlorn when they look in their kids eyes. Cause lo if one has been riddled with self doubt and indecision then all the smug self-righteousness that people claim to have earned by reading a book or two just flies off the window and all that remains are the murderous pangs of guilt. That is if they haven't still sold their conscience to the devil.

As kids we end up with the wrong role-models all the time. We end up justifying their wrong decisions by their own hollows rationalizations( "blessing in disguise";"x is the new y" et al ). Somewhere we want to protect ourselves since one day we are going to follow their insipid decisions ourselves. It ain't fair but with time we get sucked into the cycle ourselves and then the rationalizations are easier to swallow cause by then the will to fight has long disappeared.

To quote my recent obsession with Libertines
And if you've lost your faith and love of music oh the end wont be long.
Because if its come then I too may lose it and that would be wrong.

With age people learn to take injustice in their stride as a fact of life. Perhaps they have lost the appetite to fight back. More still they have lost the appetite to be just, morally as well as ethically. There is strife everywhere and injustice of humongous proportions is levied on millions whether its the opium growers/carpet weavers of Helmand or the red shirts of north Thailand or the people caught in between the Kyrgyzstan struggle or the so many bigoted color revolutions of eastern Europe. But every uprising leaves behind terrible tell tale of destruction and sometimes just maybe sometimes one needs to follow Jenny Curran's advice
Listen, you promise me something, OK? Just if you're ever in trouble, don't be brave. You just run, OK? Just run away.

Maybe jenny's lack of education prevented her from comprehending that sometimes the brave thing to do is run away from the stronghold of stupid hollow relations that have been heaped on us for years. That deliverance sometimes rests on us severing the unwanted bonds of servitude.

People are under the wrong notion that with age and some books they have life all figured out. They jump at the slightest opportunity to pass judgements and opinions on people they hardly know. In reality people figure out life to extent that they can insure and protect their kiths and kins under the worst of circumstances. Not really much of a bragging power to boot. Sad, terribly sad but true.........................

In the midst of all these "cow-cobras" lie some real cobras. The ones who have been partially de-fanged by initiating them to the club of "wearing-big-pants-at-office-because-i-cannot-wear-them-home". These are the people that concern me. They are on the cusp of joining the devilry and once they are inside they too will become exactly like their masters they so disdain. They have their share of adult responsibilities but I believe they can still find those remnants of will-power that propelled their ships not so long ago. Their anchored ships are not so happy in the green meadows built on sacrilegious acts but in the open ocean where their minds are at peace. Their ships need to be set free in the ocean, feel the force of the free gale as their boats tumble and rumble into the open neutral sea. My heart goes out to all those who feel trapped and are moving towards their own initiation in the club of the unwanted. I hope they have enough firepower to take courageous decisions else the cold winter ahead will inevitably curdle their blood................

I have had great respect for the master of our small world. He seems to have a clear and active plan to bring the moribund volcano back to life. He is unfortunately saddled with worthless babies as task carriers. The best of plans laid to waste because the implementers are human who rationalize stupidity by stating "to err is human". It's nothing but travesty of justice.

Only after disaster can we be resurrected. I am a non-believer but I believe one can be "born again" in the face of untenable injustice. Not because it has some pseudo-power to help us in our future endeavours but because it will help us in shredding all the bits of "acquired garbage" behind.

To the fools what looks as a capricious decision is actually the very articulate debunking of their castles in the air. But fools being fools, one cannot expect them to fathom enough grey cells to think it though.

For a lot of people in my erstwhile field, they were in the "take" field. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. We all left the "take" field as soon as we dwelled into the monotonicity of "sea". But alas people are known to follow false pretences and if it helps them mentally all the more reason to allow the charade of innocence. It is this same wrong notion that has corrupted the young minds by sowing false seeds of hope. Hope may be a good thing perhaps the best of things but not everyone is incarcerated long enough to lap it up like Red.

History is replete with autocrats who surround themselves with cronies. It helps the autocrat and it helps the cronies. But lessons learnt in history are forgotton soon enough and we see a crony group always forms around a weak leader soon enough. Its a petty symbiotic relationship and it goes a long way in calming their frayed nerves. I heard they gift tampons on holidays since balls are no longer the hallmark of such insipid souls.

The superpower has always had to deal with blow-back. But it has not stopped them from pursuing the carrot and stick policy all along. While the policy is undoubtedly welcome its implementation is usually mired in charges of graft. The Sunni awakening broke the back of Mahdi army and ensured a relatively calm Iraq, but truth be told it was just legalised graft. There are lessons everywhere if one looks deeply enough and my erstwhile occupation had a whole lot of parallels to draw. It left me charred and scarred but the experience was worth the wounds.

This brings us to the sycophants. Why are we unabashedly proud of some dolts? Maybe our proximity has been too shitty for us to draw correct comparisons. Maybe we intend to be as stupid as the ones we praise and hope someone will be dolt-ier still to praise us. Oh the human psyche and its failings. They never cease to amaze me. It breaks my heart to see adrenaline pumped adult-kids being the role model for real-kids. Most kids will metamorphise into the very devils they praise. Just some will be able to see through the veil and break the glass ceiling without compromising their ideals...........Let the power be with them.........let it be...............

A lucky few are intent on spending life without exerting any particular domain. But most morons are hell bent on getting a high from their most mundane work. Forgive me for the cliche again but it ain't rocket science and still people get all dovey eyed and curious and excited. Yeah you read it right "excited". While the saner ones banish such impishness and get on with the bone crushing mundane-ness without any hoopla some are crazy enough to squeeze some juice out of it and make a mountain out of bloody good damn molasses. Common sense dictates it be thrown out but alas it ain't so common now is it ?

There is an anti-establishment drive currently going on in the US. Most of the establishment candidates are falling prey to so called tea party newbies who are dead against the usual Washington status quo. Its nothing more than the euphoria that people felt when they were electing a black man to the aptly named white house. In the end the mask keeps changing but the powers that be remains firmly in control. The only people who lose out are the once who are far away from the levers of power, the docile dolts, the fiery idealists, the undying optimists....................Rather than being a part of a pseudo change we need to be the medium, we need to get behind the levers of power, we need to be in a position to call some shots. In the end what matters is the one behind the wheel and the complaints of the co-riders can fall on the perpetually deaf ears of the one in the driver's seat. Lets seize the moment and grab some while we still can. Carpe diem baby, freaking Carpe diem.....

The last thing I need is some self-appointed cry baby patronizing me. Presuming himself/herself to be the self appointed ambassadors of the enigma called life they lectured me ages on the pros/cons of my so called capricious decisions. Little did they know sometimes advice falling on deaf ears is the best thing to happen. It protect the brittle egos of "wise sages" and the confident swagger of a lonely fighter. The fighter may have lost the battle and pretty badly too but he shall get up to fight new battles soon cause the war is still anyone's game. What matters is the war, individual battles are just new experiences to learn. To get back to Pink Floyd
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
Did they really do that? oh and how the apples have fallen from their high pedestal. Granted it wasn't high but still it was a pedestal, wasn't it? Some moron still used to look up to it.........God save the dummies................God save them please......

My parting thoughts bring me back to Bob Dylan
Then time will tell just who fell And who’s been left behind
When you go your way and I go mine...........................................